Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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