What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She told me I should be a condom model.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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