I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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