would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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