I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This is classic penis vs brain.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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