Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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