We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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