good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
don't judge my taste in strippers
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
