Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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