I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
