Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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