do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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