Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Two words: blizzard sex
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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