i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
