There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
