I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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