I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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