You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
