You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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