Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
