How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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