Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
