HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
