Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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