Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I know her cup size but not her name....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
