It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize