It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
