I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
