is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
