doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
