i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
