My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
