last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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