Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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