Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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