People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
