not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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