did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
So much Jack, so little girl.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
