five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
