oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
