i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
