party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
