just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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