He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
