oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
