Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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