He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
