worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
