I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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