i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
