The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
