i don't plan on having that self control this summer
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
