I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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