i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
