Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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