I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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