Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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