South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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