have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
