This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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