I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
