me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
