Don't make out with my wife yet
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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