Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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