If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
